TLDR: Despite the diagnosis, 2015 was pretty rad.

Happy 2016!

Last night, P had the great idea of having us sit down side by side and write out our (unranked) “top ten” moments of 2015. As we went through the exercise, we realized that it was challenging to determine what kind of grain size of experience we were going for– as in, a literal moment, or a day, or perhaps an entire week/month that got collapsed as one feeling and memory? Regardless, we also realized that both of us ended up writing out a lot more than ten discrete moments or experiences, which is a testament that it was a really really good year. That actually felt like a surprise to us, because of course, the last 2 months of 2015 had been so completely dominated by cancer cancer cancer. It was refreshing and joyful to  be reminded that while cancer is a reality in our lives, it’s not the whole of who we are. (And I use “we” because, as I’ll probably explain in a future post, one of the ugliest parts of this disease, or perhaps any serious illness, is how it wends itself so completely into the life of the caregiver as well.)

So below, is not the top ten moments exactly, but month by month highlights from 2015:

January

We literally started the New Year in Shanghai. P & I were in a taxi trying to get to the Bund in Shanghai to see the countdown. Traffic was horrendous, though, and we got to the waterfront around 12:15am on January 1st. That ended up being a good thing, because as I learned only the next day (after a call home) that there had been a stampede that we were just a few blocks away from. There had been so many people that we had had no idea.

China, 3 cities: Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Changsha. It was P’s first time there and my fifth. We chose Shanghai for it’s hyper-reality, Guangzhou because it’s where my parents are from and Changsha because I taught there more than a decade ago. We rode the high-speed trains, we did a spectacular night run in Guangzhou, and we stuffed our faces everywhere (unforgettable shengjianbao in Shanghai, shuangpinai in Guangzhou, and choudofu in Changsha). We met old friends and made new ones and we will definitely be going back.

February

We finally said goodbye to the “Innternets Cafe” (inside joke, too long and too not funny to anyone else) in Jamaica Plain, where I had lived for over five years. In the middle of the epic snowstorms, we helped our roommate move to her new place 10 minutes away in one direction and we started a 2 month stint housesitting for friends in a place 10 minutes away in the other direction.

There was so so much snow, but we loved the wonderfully lived in apartment that we were watching and stayed cozy in the study. On Valentine’s Day, we trudged through the snow to have steak at a local bar with our old roommate and her boyfriend. Not too long after that, a friend came to visit and we organized a scavenger hunt that involved hiding packets of BelVita throughout the house. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

March/April

We wrapped up our housesitting gig and I scooted off in late March to Copenhagen for a conference, leaving P to move us back in with our old roommate in her new house. I brought my mom with me to Denmark, and after the conference, we took the train to Sweden to visit Stockholm, with a short stopover in Malmo for a night. Malmo must be one of the loveliest small cities I’ve been to. I hadn’t traveled overseas with just my mom since 2009 and it was comforting returning with her to these tiny hotel rooms and hearing the rhythms of my mom sleeping. It was lovely watching the enthusiasm of my mom trying new foods, and together we stalked through castles and museums, marveled at Scandinavian design, and griped about having to pay 10 crowns for tap water in Copenhagen.

April/May

It was an unusual year of international travel, and in the last days of April, I flew out to Berlin for a special research program that convened young researchers and activists from across the world. I met 18 amazing new friends and colleagues committed to youth participation and youth policy. The three days I spent with this group felt electric– it was the kinship with folks who identified as community workers first and researchers second, a welcome change from the academic world I had been so steeped in for the last few years.

I had also arranged to be in Berlin a few days before and after the convening and P came with me (though we flew separately). We fell in love with Berlin– grafitti, smoke, and beer everywhere. Like a ’90s music video we didn’t want to leave.

June

A younger cousin from California came to stay with my family for a month– a welcome breath of fresh air for her after a lot of hardship with a family member’s illness back home. It felt like a privilege to have a chance to reconnect with family from across the country and to share with my cousin the things I loved about Boston.

This was also the month that P and I watched all 5 seasons of Game of Thrones.

July

Just what did I do this month? This is the month I can’t seem to recall!

August

P and I headed to India, making this the 4th international trip of the year! It was the first time back to Bangalore since my wedding in January, 2014, but it didn’t seem like all that much had changed in the intervening time. But I started to get to know the geography of the city a little better, especially after P and I did a 15 mile run across the city. P and his dad were able to mark out a great route that hit some of P’s favorite parts of the city, and which also allowed us to take advantage of the few sidewalks in Bangalore.

September

I started school with gusto, ready to dive into dissertation work. Two weeks later, everything would change. In the midst of surreal visits to multiple doctors’ offices, I kept asking, “so, can I go to this wedding in Jackson Hole?” And I did go, and it was spectacular. My friends M+A orchestrated this destination wedding precisely to get people to the great outdoors and everything was flawless. I reunited with friends that I had taught in China with and we went hiking and biking and running. I felt healthy and unstoppable, all the while bracing myself for a potential new reality after the trip. But before that, so many wonderful firsts: making my first fireplace fire, cutting into my first ever elk steak, first ever covered wagon ride, first time clapping for 2 miles straight to scare off potential bears on an early morning run (we saw none, phew), and first blood moon.

October 

Since mid-September, I had stopped training in earnest for my first marathon. I had made it to 20 miles, but for at least 3 weeks before the Mt. Desert Island marathon, I had barely run. P and I decided though that we needed a “win” before chemotherapy and even if it meant walking 26 miles, we’d do it. So up to Bar Harbor we headed with my mom and we did it! P asked somewhere towards the end of the marathon if I wanted to do another one and surprising myself, I said I did. So, the goal’s been set!

November/December

Living in and getting to know my hometown again was an unexpected gift. I was able to see the city anew, to a degree. At least 5 days a week, we took/take walks around my neighborhood, and I came to learn the names of streets I should have known, and for the first time noticed this house or that detail. Those funny shutters, awnings– a strange trend of a certain era, neat and rugged little Cape homes. The marshes here, beautiful and underrated; the beach, an amenity I had taken for granted; and the moonrises, simply breathtaking.